The Porn Star Sofa

My dream sofa is Red, velour or micro fibre, big and comfortable with room for 5 people.

Last week I saw it…. It was love at first sight.  Red, velour, L shaped and fabulous to lounge on.

I had the cash, I had the opportunity and I had the burning desire.

Then a friend made a comment and highlighted the sensible path. I had already paid for one elsewhere, It was possibly a bit busted, Made jokes about it being on a porn set and “evidence” that would probably show under a UV light. So I said no…. and left my heart’s desire in the shop. I chose Head over Heart.

But The Universe wasn’t finished. The next day after my friend left I met the lady from the shop in Woolies. She put it on hold for me. She even rang me the following morning to confirm what I wanted to do and I STILL said no.

“Best be sensible” said the voice in my head…. which always sounds strangely like my Mum.

The Sensible sofa was duly collected and wrestled into my new home. Legs had to be removed, paint was scratched off walls.

Then I sat on it.

It’s horrible. It looks stylish, could be from a magazine….but it’s scratchy, too bulky for the space and uncomfortable, NOT a relaxing “Let’s Hang Out” sofa.

Most importantly… it’s Brown.

Lesson : ALWAYS listen to your heart, even if your heart desires a porn star.

RIP Red Velour Sofa

yes… it’s been sold. I hope it’s happy and appreciated wherever it is.