Integrity… the new currency?

Think about the people in your life that you trust? Think about the businesses that you spend your money with? Which of them make you feel the most comfortable?

I bet they all have 1 thing in common. And that’s Integrity. Walking their talk. Living their values.

This lack is what has us still feel uncomfortable about eating Macca’s. Thanks for the salad range, but we all know the true nutritional value of the “food”. (and I do have 1 occasionally. I’ve never said I was an Angel 100% of the time) It’s the reason that we are starting to see an explosion of the personality based businesses: Ashy Bines, Michelle Bridges 12WBT as examples. We’re relying on the integrity of the person to be carried through to the product. We trust in them.

I used to be a big fan of Biggest Loser. Inspirational seeing people supported to change their lives. Until tonight.

Last season wasn’t brilliant with the obvious diet yoghurt endorsement. A yoghurt which is by the way packed with a proven carcinogen Aspartame. Tonight it was taken to another level. We all know that to truly change ourselves forever we need to change our habits forever. That means killing off the sugar addiction forever. Eating clean, nothing processed. Finding, identifying and avoiding the hidden sugars. Breaking the crave binge cycle.

At dinner on the program tonight they were all drinking Coke Zero. This is disgusting sweetness replacement, which only serves to continue the addiction to the sweet flavour AND is proven to be damaging to weight loss long term AND has a carcinogenic ingredient Aspartame (I personally know how damaging the stuff is. I maxed out at 2.5 litres/day at one stage)

And the trainers know it. I bet you don’t see them sucking it down.

Let’s hope they have stronger morals in the product they sell with their own name attached.

Remember your integrity every day. It’s truly the new currency in the world, I hope.


The Greatest Growth Tool

In what I do I am constantly supporting clients in their growth journey. Growth is a challenging and often painful process that only the truly brave and courageous undertake, Remember what it was like to have growing pains? Mine were so bad around the age of 9 that my parents used to freeze heavy feather pillows to lay on my legs at night. When it was very bad my Dad used to sleep on my legs to numb them (apparently its not good form to get your kids addicted to painkillers at an early age…. go Mum and Dad!)
I have to say though I am so grateful to those pains. I love being 5’8″. Nothing wrong with being shorter ( or should I say vertically challenged?) I just love being my height. It suits me. I wouldn’t be “me” shorter. At the time I would have given anything for those pains to stop, and cried myself to sleep many times.

So what is that stops us embracing growth as we get older?

When did we decide that Pain was to be totally avoided at all costs, even if that cost is our own happiness?

Depression is on the increase in our society, suicide the biggest killer of our younger generations. Not cancer, suicide. How does that happen in a society that is geared to hedonism? Quick fix happiness. Watch any channel late at night and you can spend your mortgage on machines “guaranteed” to improve your waistline/bust/cooking and “no effort”.

Yet the greatest tool we have for our own growth is readily accessible without going on a payment plan. In fact, I’m guessing you’ve even got a few of them in your house right now. I know that you all have at least 3 in your car.

What is this magical freely available tool? It’s a Mirror. The only question to ask yourself when you are experiencing the perturbation of growth, in the moment when it feels too hard, you’ve got to do too much, you might screw it up, is simply this. Who do I want to see looking back at me in the mirror in the morning? If it’s not the person you are behaving as right now then change it. Embrace the transformation, embrace the pain, push through the barrier. The best way to do that is to enrol a team. Get someone to hold you accountable.

(Or you can borrow my Dad. I think he is still available for lying on legs through the night.)

My Mum has said many wise things over the years. One that sticks with me is “I don’t care what you do, just never say “I wish I had…” to me”.
Which pain do you want to avoid the most : the pressure or change or the pain of regret?
Who is going to look back at you from the mirror tomorrow morning? The true you or the cardboard creation you insist on carrying around?

I know which is prettier.

Ohm Shanti

Feline in your affections



My darling older cat Saskia Hates the kitten Ziggy. She is so clear in her feelings, unwavering in her dismissal and disapproval.  If he sniffs at her, she hisses.  If he lunges at her, she yowls.  If he touches her, then it’s Watch Out time and he’ll get cuffed. He has the scars on his nose to show how often!

Her favourite position is sitting on top of my desk.  If he comes into my office, a warning growl is shot across the room, just to make sure he knows she’s seen him.

I admire her honesty. She has not hidden this disapproval, or covered it with fake politeness. She never starts a fight, never provokes an incident. Is just clear in her boundaries.

This is where cats have it over humans. Clear in feeling and self confidence in truly owning the truth of the emotion.  No pretense.

This week be feline in your love giving. Give it only to those for whom your truly feel it.  Be polite, just keep your heart for your true loves.

Teaching or Speeching?

I love what I do, I love teaching, I love sharing and most of all I love the lessons I get exposed to daily. What I am incredibly clear on is that I am NOT the inventor, creator or Owner of anything that I teach. I’m just a channel, a conduit, a speaker.

I’ve put it together in my way, with my personality and tone, that is all. And I use my experience to wrap around to maybe aid understanding and integration. Because until we use something we’re taught, it’s just noise.

The most powerful teachers in our history all shared the same trait : humility. An understanding of the relationship between self and teaching.

I know some amazing teachers, and some people who think they’re teachers because they talk at people a lot. There is a big difference between the 2.

So the next time a “teacher” of yours starts to own their information, or as I saw one person say recently on Facebook : “To all the imitators out there, thanks for the compliment but you’ll only be an imitation” , I suggest you run for the hills so that there’s time for their ego to expand without crushing you.

Teach today, don’t Speech.

Heart break in celebration

There’s some gaps in my life, 2 huge holes that frankly hurt. I’m single and childless (at the moment, soon to change… hurry up Universe!)

I love my Mum, I love my Step Mum, I love my Aussie Mum (S,D,J… you know who you are) and I celebrate for the Mum’s today who get to enjoy the love of their children today; celebrating all the socks picked off the floor, tears wiped, bums wiped!

But…. it hurts. Another year passes that I am not experiencing that. Which got me to thinking. How do we celebrate for others when we’re in pain ourselves over that exact celebration?

What of the Mum’s who have lost their children? Or the children who have lost their Mum’s? How do we honour them, include them, not hide from the hole.

The options are : grin and bear it, weep uncontrollably and refuse to leave the house, or ignore it.

Research shows the link between repressed emotion and cancer, mental illness, obesity, ulcers… the list goes on. So Ignore it seems like a self damaging option to me.

So today I’m going to blend the options. Honour myself, honour my gaps, maybe even cry a bit (just a bit) then I’m going to meet a dear friend and celebrate her 1st Mothers Day. And above all remain open to the options and choices that will get presented to me today.

So go forth my spinster friends: celebrate all the children in the world, all the Mums, just make sure you honour yourself above all others. Remember you are the Mother of your soul.

Daffy the Guru

We’ve all heard the phrase ” we don’t stop playing because we are old, we get old because we stop playing”. It’s on thousands of Hallmark schmaltzy crap cards, which we will spend millions on this weekend to celebrate the women who gave birth to us (ps Love you Mum)

Well when did you last look at the world like a child? When did you last truly look through child like eyes?

A 4 year old ran past me yesterday enthralled with a duck (not sure the duck was as happy). His wonder encouraged me to stop and I noticed, for the first time ever, that those boring brown coloured ducks are actually stunning. Purple green irridescent feathers covered by the worker brown ones.

Had the child not lent me his eyes, I’d have missed a beauty in the world.

Take time today, see the beauty covered by practicality



It doesn’t work

How often do you blame the provider or implement for not getting you your results? “My business profit hasn’t changed”  “I haven’t lost any weight”
Often followed up by, in my profession, “Coaching doesn’t work”
Really? I beg to differ. I know I have created the life I live following 1 simple rule : Follow The Instructions. Simple.

In coaching that is Do What Your Coach Tells You. In Gymnastics : Do what your Gym Coach tells you. In learning guitar : Do what your Teacher tells you.

The constant search for the quick fix and finding the answer outside robs us of the chance to reach our true potential.
We hit the moment of discomfort and pull back. “I might upset someone”  I’ll have to work hard”
No shit. And by following through you also may just learn something, and grow through the process.
So just for today, from those whom you respect: Do what you’re told, respect the relationship you started.
You may just get what you want. I did.

How to see clearly

I’ve only spent 3 weeks at my new pad since I moved in.

When I got here it was mid summer, very hot and very sweaty. BIG cockroaches BIG spiders and BIG change from Melbourne! It was not very comfortable. And despite it being somewhere that others come for holiday, I was looking forward to getting away from it.

Then I went travelling for 5 weeks. After 4 days home I was off again.

And Then I got back. It’s beautifully sunny, gorgeously warm and fresh. Tonight it’s relaxingly warm after a magic day with friends. Wrapped in marshmallow heat.

I fell in love again with my new home. All it took was some time away to get some perspective. A step back and it became clear.

Do you need to step back to see clearly?

The Day of Truth

I decided a year ago I had had enough of not being where I want and doing what I want.

The frustration moved me to just shift my shit. To get on with it. To make the clear picture of what I wanted.
Then it fell in a pile of crap. It could have disappeared from me recently.

Faith trust and commitment to the vision.

Yesterday I had the best day ever. I spent the day doing and being exactly who I decided I would be 5 years ago.

Trust yourself. Tell yourself who you are. Be who you are.

The Porn Star Sofa

My dream sofa is Red, velour or micro fibre, big and comfortable with room for 5 people.

Last week I saw it…. It was love at first sight.  Red, velour, L shaped and fabulous to lounge on.

I had the cash, I had the opportunity and I had the burning desire.

Then a friend made a comment and highlighted the sensible path. I had already paid for one elsewhere, It was possibly a bit busted, Made jokes about it being on a porn set and “evidence” that would probably show under a UV light. So I said no…. and left my heart’s desire in the shop. I chose Head over Heart.

But The Universe wasn’t finished. The next day after my friend left I met the lady from the shop in Woolies. She put it on hold for me. She even rang me the following morning to confirm what I wanted to do and I STILL said no.

“Best be sensible” said the voice in my head…. which always sounds strangely like my Mum.

The Sensible sofa was duly collected and wrestled into my new home. Legs had to be removed, paint was scratched off walls.

Then I sat on it.

It’s horrible. It looks stylish, could be from a magazine….but it’s scratchy, too bulky for the space and uncomfortable, NOT a relaxing “Let’s Hang Out” sofa.

Most importantly… it’s Brown.

Lesson : ALWAYS listen to your heart, even if your heart desires a porn star.

RIP Red Velour Sofa

yes… it’s been sold. I hope it’s happy and appreciated wherever it is.